Living With Trouble
by musicisluv12
Summary: Bella goes to live with the Cullens. What will she think of her new home and the people she will live with? AH! B&E, A&J, Em&R, C&Es.
1. No One Sleeps When I'm Awake

**Heyy :) This is my first story so be harsh! Tell me what I did wrong and what I did right so I can fix it. Please review and give me some feed back as well. Also tell me what you want to happen in this story. It'll hopefully be considered and put into the story. I'll try to have a chapter done each week. Also, additional story information would be on my profile as well. **

_September 24, 2010_

_Dear Diary, _

_ I'm not sure what I should write in here. I mean I'm only using this right now to please my mother and make her happy. I don't know why I don't like to make friends and avoid others. I'm probably the exact opposite of what she wanted for a kid. I'm no beauty queen, singer, or social butterfly. I'm the kid that a nerd would be delighted to have. I ace my tests, do my homework, and study hard. But she could really care less about grades. She wants the looks and people skills. I don't know how I turned out like this while she was the one who raised me. Maybe there's just something wrong with me. Maybe I'm broken, or dysfunctional...maybe I'm just a freak._

_ -Bella_

I'm Bella if your kinda stupid and haven't figured that out. I looked out my window and sighed. Sunny. If you've ever been to Florida, you know what I mean. It's just about always sunny here. I've always been kind of negative but I have a positive side. I just figure if I wanna waste my time to please everyone else then I'll just be like Jessica or Lauren. Honestly, why should I waste my time trying to please people that I don't even like?

Living in Florida I know exactly what you expect, bronzed tan that's perfect, big blonde puffy hair that's 1 foot tall, and big boobs. Wrong! I'm the odd one out, the one with pale skin, long brown curly hair (in the natural way), and a normal sized chest. I slipped on my black t-shirt and my jean shorts. I tied my hair into a pony tail and grabbed my bag as I ran out the door and started to head for school.

I could take the bus, but I don't like being tripped and made fun of while some big tacky yellow thing is taking me to my own personal hell. I'd rather walk and take my own sweet time getting there.

I smiled slightly as I walked by the beach and due to the fact I left an hour earlier just because every morning, I ran to the water. The beach was deserted like every morning it was at 6:30 am on a September. I changed into my swim suit quickly behind the large boulder that's rested on the beach just about forever. It wasn't the type of stuff I normally wore. It was a black string bikini that fit me perfectly. Sure it was skimp, but it worked. I ran out into the small wakes in the water and started to swim. I loved swimming because I could lose my mind in the water and swim for miles forgetting about the whole world.

I swam for a little longer just floating a bit until the sun started to rise. Then I started to swim to the shore. I changed quickly and made sure that I was dried and I looked like I'd never even drank something this morning.

When I got to school I took a deep breath and trudged up to where I was sure to face a place that was meant to torment kids like me. I know exactly what you're thinking, over dramatic much? But I'm one hundred percent serious. Being around this place made everything more miserable.

I went through the entire day without seeing Edward, who was just a measly crush, and nobody even looked at me. I mean I know I'm unpopular but normally people at least look at me like a loser and teachers call on me and talk to me about stuff after class. But not today. No one so much as glimpsed my way, but what really bothered me was that it was like they were all trying to make sure that they didn't see me. It's like there was something that made them feel that if I was near they had to look anywhere but me. It was suspicious to say the least.

As I walked home I felt especially isolated today and even more so hurt. I got up to my small house that mom and I shared. I felt bad sometimes that I wasn't the daughter she was proud of and she'd always made excuses on why her friends and co-workers only saw me in pictures but never whenever they came over or there were mother daughter outing things. I know it was hard to be the prom queen in school and end up with a daughter who was practically a hermit.

It must've been difficult for her to wonder what she did wrong when raising me. Maybe it's like my dad said when he was around, maybe I'm just crazy. I sighed as I looked at the pictures she had sitting on the walls. Dad would always be with me and in my heart even though he was with the best doctor in the world trying to fix his disease. I guess we got lucky cause the guy is like family to mom and dad as well as his wife.

I went down to the basement and turned on the music. I grabbed a book and opened it up to where I'd left off as I started to lounge on one of the bean bags in the room with Willma laying in her little corner piled a mile high with pillows. I kicked off my shoes and set my book down and turned up the music up and checked my phone that said mom wouldn't be home for at least another two hours.

I liked the music and the beat was kind of contagious so I started to move my hips and slide them back and forth then I started to walk to the beat and goof off a little as the music played on and into the next song and eventually I was singing along in my tone deaf voice when I started to attempt at dancing more and failing miserably as I did so. I didn't even realize that the door had opened and closed because the music was so loud. And I had programmed the iHome to shut off half an hour before mom got off work. That's the time she'd call if she was working late. But then I heard someone trip. I stopped dancing to Good Girls Go Bad and ran upstairs after shutting off the music and saw my mother was home early.

There was a worn look to her. It was odd, normally she was always exuberant and looking her best. She had bags under her eyes and her eyes themselves were bloodshot as well as her bright blue eyes looked dull and lifeless. Her hair was frizzy and she wore no makeup. I don't know what happened but I knew that right now, all she wanted was to be alone. I headed up to my room to give her some space.

I sat in my room for hours til finally at 9:00 pm she came upstairs and said "Bella, we need to talk."

"Okay, what's up?" I respond trying to seem nonchalant.

"Well, I got a call today. Your father...he's had a relapse in his progress. The doctors say it's not looking good and they thing I should come to be with your father and see if I can help him get through the many tests and surgeries ahead of him." She said tentatively.

"Well then we'll both go to the hospital and help dad get through it." I said.

"No. Charlie said that he doesn't want you seeing him like this. It'll be to much." She shaid nervously.

"What? You want me to stay behind while you go and help dad? No. No mom!" I said slightly hysterical.

"Yes Bella! I'm your mother and you're my daughter. I'm the parent and what I say goes! Now get packed! Dr. Cullen said you may stay with his family while I go to with your father to get all of the surgeries and tests." She yelled. She'd never yelled at me before and it was freaky to say the least. "Please Bella. Don't make this harder than it already is." She whispered. That was the first time I'd ever seen my mother broken. I got up silently and started to pickup my things.

Isn't it ironic how much moods can change in one day. First I'm negative, then I'm happy, then I'm worried and confused, and now I'm just resigned and hurt.

How a parents can abandon their children I'll never understand. Or maybe it's just me and I'm not exactly the ideal daughter. Or the loved one.

I guess I was gonna be living with Dr. Cullen's family for a while.


	2. I Just Wanna Run

**Hey! So I'm working on chapter 3 currently, and if you didn't know, I send you preview of chapter 3 if you review! Thanks to everyone who read my story, and like I said, Gimme input! I'm actually writing this story as I go, no outline or anything, so please. REVIEW WHAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAPPEN! So have fun with the chapter, and remember, The little thing called reviewing...it makes inspiration. Inspiration=better chapters...and longer ones too! I am a little hurt though, that this story had like 60 hits, but only one person actually reviewed. I mean sure, some added this to favorites and subscriptions but come on! I don't bite...hard. hahahahaha byeee  
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_September 25, 2010_

_2:26 am_

_Dear Diary, _

_ Everything is a blur. I'm writing in you because I need something to comfort me with. So I need to talk. I've packed because Mom is going to see dad. Do you know what it feels like to be abandoned? To be told you're not wanted? Of course you don't. Your just some stupid book that I'm venting my feelings in because I have no real friends to talk to at a time like this. _

_ Maybe I'm right. Maybe there really is something wrong with me that makes everyone hate me and not want to be around me. Am I insensitive to others? Do I seem like I don't care? I've already been diagnosed by shrinks that I'm 'depressed', 'unattached', 'mentally deficient', etc...I've heard it all. Why can't I just be a normal girl? Why is it that I don't have a single good trait in me. I'm insane for sure because I came to my stupid diary for comfort. _

_ But no. The real thing I think that bothers me is that just 2 hours ago I boarded a train to go all the way to the airport that's flying me to my new home and I still have another 2 hours on this stupid train before I'm at my stop. Mom already got on her plane because she's flying to pheonix, where they plan to do a series of tests on dad. __I __am going to Seattle where I will then take an hour cab ride to get to the small home in a tiny town called Forks. Granted it's apparently pretty big from the pictures and it's just outside of town, as well as kind of hidden in the trees. I've been told that me and the Doc's kids are taking these at home class sort of things where we get taught our lessons by the wife who happened to teach high school before. Then we get daily homework that we then give to Esme who sends the work into the school people at the end of the 'term' to get our final grades._

_ I'm not sure what I'm going to do about my parents but I know I'm not going to keep in contact. In fact, my plan is to sneak out the night that I get there when everyone is asleep and get away. I don't know where, but I'm leaving this hell hole I've been thrown into. I'm going to leave and hide out until September 13th when I'm officially 18. I know it's a long time but I'll do fine. I'll use my passport and my saved up money to buy plane tickets to Italy, or Rome, somewhere out of the U.S. where they can't take me as a missing child and have to let me be. I'll fly back a year later and work hard and hopefully get a decent job._

_-Bella_

_

* * *

_

I slammed my diary shut, throwing it into one of my many bags. I was riding on one of the older trains, the ones that you sit in little cabin/rooms and there's a sliding door that leads to the hallway everyone uses. It had character and I had a cabin all to myself but I was still angry. Why, might you ask, am I so angry? Because after I was all packed up, Renee called a cab, gave me my ticket and some money, then I got no word from her. I'm not gonna be one of those whinny little shits, but god dammit my parents are cold mother fuckers when they want to be. They wonder why I'm so negative? Maybe it's because that's what I got for a personality from them.

I looked out the window next to me and heaved a sigh. I was going someplace I didn't know to live with strangers I didn't know in a house I didn't know and I couldn't do anything about it. I don't know when I'm going to get away and be free. I'll know when the time comes though.

I shut my eyes tightly trying to imagine this whole outside world away and just imagine myself in this boxcar on a train going anywhere. Someplace beautiful, mysterious, and alluring. With someone handsome, kind, caring, and dark.

I opened my eyes and turned on my iPod, putting the ear buds in my head so deep that they'd hopefully get stuck there forever. All of the sudden the song that started playing was Careful by Paramore. I chuckled darkly at the irony of the song playing at a time like this. And then I started to laugh loudly. I kept laughing for a full five minutes because when you're too weak to hide your heart, you have to mask it with a lie in emotions. I kept laughing until my laughs turned into sobs. The tears started to stream full throttle within the first two minutes. I was bawling for hours until the sky turned black. I guess when you hide yourself and your emotions and opinions...they'll just pile up like water in a dam until one day, something big enough just pushes you over the edge along with everything you held inside. And it all comes pouring out a once.

The alarm on my phone sounded that I had 20 minutes to til I was at my stop. I took that time to get ready, but I stopped, still full of pain, and I reached for a Kleenex box in the cabin and put my hand under the sharp peice of metal sticking out of the foot of my seat and slid my wrist across the metal feeling some of the pain I felt internally slither to my wrist and as the blood flowed, so did my pain. I grabbed a Kleenex and quickly held it to my wrist as I realized I'd need to cover it up later and I had no band-aids nor did I want any makeup in my fresh cut, so I quickly tore the red bandanna out of my bag next to me that I had just for pure enjoyment of bandannas, and wrapped it around my wrist and tied it tightly. After wards I grabbed a jacket and slid it on as I grabbed my stuff and walked out of the cabin as the called my stop.

I walked to the airport a block away and got onto the plane within a half hour. I decided over that time I was going to change myself. I was going to be the girl that everyone envied. The one everyone wished they could hang out with.

I spent the entire flight looking up makeup, hair, and other maintenance tutorials to be who I needed to be. I decided as well over the plane ride that I needed a new wardrobe. So if everyone in charge of me could play dirty, I would too.

As soon as I'd gotten my things from baggage claim I tried to keep my face down as I went towards the doors considering the fact that I'd be avoiding my ride to the Cullen house. I knew their address and I'd go there when I was ready. I took the emergency credit card that my parents granted me and decided to test that ten thousand dollar limit out.

I'd almost made it to the exit without any trouble when a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned to see a lovely woman with a heart shaped face and thick caramel colored hair.

"I'm sorry to bother you miss but would you happen to be Isabella Swan?" She asked in the sweetest, most caring voice. I couldn't win this battle.

I sighed internally in disappointment and said, "Yes, are you Mrs. Cullen?"

"Why yes I am" she said straightening her back and smiling brightly, showing off her bright white teeth, not a single one crooked. "But please, call me Esme."

"Ok. Well, Esme, it's very nice to meet you." I said with a genuine smile.

"Would you like me to help, sweetie? Those bags look heavy." She said with concern covering her gentle face.

"Sure" I said handing her the lightest bag I had.

She asked "Are you ready to head home?"

"Yes please, I'm extremely tired." I said quietly.

She linked arms with me and directed me toward a brand new looking car.

"Do you like it? I got it a couple weeks ago! It's a 2010 Lumina!" She said excitedly. I wondered quickly if all of the Cullen's had a car fetish, like Esme obviously did.

We drove for a long time, and in that time I had learned a lot about Esme.

She loved her husband, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, just as much as she had the first time she set eyes on him twenty years ago.

She was forty-two years old, but she'd trained all of her kids to say she was thirty if asked.

She was unable to have kids, so she adopted one child.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

So technically she had five kids, but surprisingly, Alice and Jasper, her two youngest kids had fallen in love and were dating. They were sixteen. Then two of her other kids had gotten together, Rose and Emmett. They were both eighteen and were graduating this year. Then there was her other son, he was seventeen like me, Edward. He was what she called, a difficult boy. In short he was either, a player/man whore or mentally disturbed in someway. Maybe emo, or anger problems. I wonder which.

We pulled up to a huge house and I took a deep breath. On the other side other side of that door, I would see the people I'd have to live with for a while.

**Kind of cliffy, I know. But help me decide, what exactly IS wrong with Edward? Hmmm, hmmm? Read&Review!**

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